Being Intentionally Intentional

I’ve been in the US for almost two-and-a-half years and the homesickness has gone, and I feel grounded in a different way. 

I’ve noticed that there have been different levels of settling since moving here. From excitement, to shock, to curiosity, to resignation, to isolation, to where I am now, and that’s joyful. It’s not because life is perfect — far from it. But instead, I feel like I’ve surveyed the cultural landscape and am more able to navigate it. 

Australians are different from Americans. We all speak English but the cultures are wildly different. There are things I love and things I hate, but I now recognize those differences. I want to focus on just one thing that has come as a shock to me, and that’s materialism. I don’t think that this is a specifically American thing. I just think that I am noticing it more now as the American population is so much greater than Australia’s and I come into contact with a lot more people.

I love a good bargain. I like nice things. I like having all manner of things available night and day, but I don’t like the ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ view of life.

I’m not saying Australia is not materialistic. Most countries are, and in fact, places like Dubai are incredibly opulent and extravagant. But one thing I have noticed is that to be considered successful here, the more you have, the more successful you appear — a huge house stuffed full of everything imaginable, all the cars and toys and boats and vacations etc., etc. Not everyone is like that, of course, but there is a general sense of approval that comes with having a ridiculous amount of stuff. 

This seems to be a cultural norm in the US, so I don’t judge it too harshly. Every culture has its good points and bad, and I think most would agree that America has been a very prosperous country for a long time. It’s so normal here to be this way that people don’t know any other way. I notice it because I’ve come from the outside in.  

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having nice things if you want them and can afford them, but accruing debt and judging others for not living the same way is where I draw the line. 

So this is where my life and the American culture intersect. I don’t want piles of stuff and I hate debt — I want to be able to sleep at night without worrying about credit card payments. But I am regularly judged for not having a lot of stuff.

Jim and I live in a small property purposely. We only have things around us that we really like and we drive a car we own. We won’t replace it until we have to. When I first moved to the US and saw all the amazing things at my disposal, and how cheap they were (before this inflation), I started to collect things. But then we decided to move and the idea of dragging stuff we didn’t even need across the country seemed silly. I started really thinking about why I have so much stuff, and what made me collect it. It was very sobering. And honestly, I have very little stuff.

Possessions bog you down — you end up relying on your stuff and doing all you can to protect and preserve your stash. And ultimately, for what reason? It will all most likely be donated or thrown out when you die. I want a lower footprint. I want to be able to pack up and move when we want to see or explore a new place. You can’t do that when you are anchored down with piles of stuff. Some people won’t move as they are too nervous to tackle the sheer volume of possessions they have.

Why do we need stuff so much? Is it for our own enjoyment or is it so that others can see what we have and think well of us? Do we really need everything we have? I have been asking myself all of these questions as I navigate the cultural differences.

I was recently talking to a young man I met and he was telling me that all the Australians he’s ever met (he went to college with a number of them), are just so relaxed, casual, and didn’t care about appearances. I said that Australians have their own set of problems but what he said is mostly true — we like to focus on experiences and enjoying an outdoor lifestyle rather than always striving for more. Some are like that for sure, and materialism is becoming more common, but until recently it wasn’t as prevalent as in the US. The young man told me that now that he’s in his late 20s, he’s already getting pressure from family and friends to start chasing a promotion, to buy a bigger house, to start ‘succeeding’. He said that he hates those expectations but feels he has no choice but to start accruing the house, the cars, the debt, in order to feel accepted. He doesn’t want it, but he doesn’t know how to choose another way without causing displeasure to those he cares about.

The more I hear stories like his, the more I push back. How? By being intentional. By refusing to buy into the materialism which defines so many.

Intentionalism is actually a literary theory that states that a literary work should be judged in terms of the author’s intentions. But I’m taking the term and using it to mean that I’m not a minimalist, nor an essentialist, but instead, an intentionalist. I choose what I buy with intention and purpose. It’s about shopping mindfully. I choose second-hand furniture, clothing, and kitchenware where possible. I only buy what we need and what will add value to our lives. I want nice things around me, but only a few things. I only keep what is important and necessary. I have packed up and donated more than half of our belongings and soon I will give away even more.

I have done this with my wardrobe as well. I am reducing my wardrobe to as few pieces as possible. I was reading that most Americans have between 77-155 pieces of clothing, with some owning over 300 pieces. On average, Americans purchase about 68 garments a year and there’s an estimated 11.3 million tons of annual textile waste. 

The total personal debt in the US is $14.96 trillion. Over 50% of families earning $100,000+ a year are living paycheck to paycheck. Yes, the cost of living has increased and inflation is sky-high, but could it also be because everyone wants everything? A study shows that there are 300,000 items in the average American home! That’s a whole lot of stuff to protect and preserve.

I have noticed that a number of Americans are also pushing back on this materialism and the minimalism, essentialism, and decluttering communities are growing exponentially. Tiny living is increasing in popularity and many Americans are moving into vans and tiny spaces in a bid to fight the consumerism that has overtaken the nation. This is such a good sign and gives me faith that the materialism bubble will burst at some point. I hope the same happens in Australia.

I’m not suggesting that anyone give away everything they own. Instead, I am suggesting focusing on things that you have chosen with intention, and to think about sustainability, and what is really important. Even choosing friends, vacations, and hobbies with intention. Decluttering your life is not just about belongings, it’s about doing things mindfully and purposefully.

I have discovered a great deal of freedom in living intentionally. I have much less to clean and our debt is so minimal it’s almost non-existent— and it’s only so I could get a credit score. Jim and I have plans to buy a tiny cabin or tiny home, and plant gardens and have chickens and live as sustainably as possible. This may make us socially unacceptable, but ultimately, it makes us happy. And living a simple, joyful, godly life with people you love is just about as good as it gets on this side of eternity.